Looking for some best funny quotes and sayings? Weโve compiled the best 161 funny inspirational quotes about life for you to brighten up your mood and make a smile to your face.
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15 Funny Inspirational Quotes
โMemories are doing funny things to us.โ – Milos Forman
โI can speak Esperanto like a native.โ – Spike Milligan
โI think serial monogamy says it all.โ – Tracey Ullman
โFashions have done more harm than revolutions.โ – Victor Hugo
โA nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.โ – Yogi Berra
โMen are only as loyal as their options.โ – Bill Maher
โThere’s always something funny about men chasing women.โ – David Spade
โI was the kid next door’s imaginary friend.โ – Emo Philips
โYou’re only as good as your last haircut.โ – Fran Lebowitz
โI’m for whatever gets you through the night.โ – Frank Sinatra
โI thought I was funny as a kid.โ – Jo Brand
โLife is hard. After all, it kills you.โ – Katharine Hepburn
โA lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.โ – Kevin Nealon
โMiami Beach is where neon goes to die.โ – Lenny Bruce
โI’m not funny. What I am is brave.โ – Lucille Ball
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11 Funny Life Quotes
โGod did not intend religion to be an exercise club.โ – Naguib Mahfouz
โI’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.โ – Robin Williams
โWhy do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?โ – Robin Williams
โThe next time you have a thought… let it go.โ – Ron White
โO Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.โ – Saint Augustine
โIt’s funny what a few no-hitters do for a body.โ – Satchel Paige
funny inspirational quotes
โIt’s funny how intimate it feels to get a text.โ – Sophie Ellis Bextor
โHow long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.โ – Spike Milligan
โI’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.โ – Steven Wright
โWhat contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?โ – W. Clement Stone
โI buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.โ – Warren Buffett
20 Funny Quotes
โElectricity is really just organized lightning.โ – George Carlin
โAll men are equal before fish.โ – Herbert Hoover
โIt’s funny to be a critic.โ – Leslie Fiedler
โOne picture is worth 1,000 denials.โ – Ronald Reagan
โThe superfluous, a very necessary thing.โ – Voltaire
โI don’t mean to be funny.โ – Yogi Berra
โI had a very funny family.โ – Zach Braff
โIt’s simple, if it jiggles, it’s fat.โ – Arnold Schwarzenegger
โI don’t just try to be funny.โ – Bil Keane
โDefy your own group. Rebel against yourself.โ – Cathy Guisewite
โIt’s funny how most activists are pacifists.โ – Craig Bruce
โWho picks your clothes – Stevie Wonder?โ – Don Rickles
โNever put a sock in a toaster.โ – Eddie Izzard
โGuilt: the gift that keeps on giving.โ – Erma Bombeck
โTV is chewing gum for the eyes.โ – Frank Lloyd Wright
โI grew up in a funny way.โ – Gordon Ramsay
โOne man’s folly is another man’s wife.โ – Helen Rowland
โCommunism is like one big phone company.โ – Lenny Bruce
โOur national flower is the concrete cloverleaf.โ – Lewis Mumford
โAll generalizations are false, including this one.โ – Mark Twain
10 Inspirational Fun Quotes
โGo to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.โ – Mark Twain
โI watch things that are fun, or funny, or interesting.โ – Martha Plimpton
โYou can’t be funny if you don’t have good material.โ – Matt LeBlanc
โActually I never did stand up. I’m not that funny.โ – Maynard James Keenan
โFunny things happen to you in movies for silly reasons.โ – Michael Caine
funny inspirational quotes
โAt school I was very shy. I wasn’t funny really.โ – Michel Gondry
โA waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.โ – Mitch Hedberg
โI drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.โ – Mitch Hedberg
โThis shirt is dry clean only. Which means… it’s dirty.โ – Mitch Hedberg
โAll these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.โ – Mitch Hedberg
20 Short Funny Quotes
โFunny is funny.โ – Don Rickles
โBe obscure clearly.โ – E. B. White
โHollywood’s just not funny.โ – Chris Rock
โMy life needs editing.โ – Mort Sahl
โFunny is funny is funny.โ – Bob Newhart
โEverybody’s funny in different ways.โ – Colin Quinn
โIt’s funny because it’s funny.โ – David Spade
โI rant, therefore I am.โ – Dennis Miller
โPolite conversation is rarely either.โ – Fran Lebowitz
โWeather forecast for tonight: dark.โ – George Carlin
โNever floss with a stranger.โ – Joan Rivers
โI don’t think I’m funny.โ – Liam Neeson
โIt’s a funny old world.โ – Margaret Thatcher
โNever fight an inanimate object.โ – P. J. O’Rourke
โWhat’s another word for Thesaurus?โ – Steven Wright
โI like marriage. The idea.โ – Toni Morrison
โI like children – fried.โ – W. C. Fields
โEverybody’s funny if you love them.โ – Anna Torv
โAll my children inherited perfect pitch.โ – Chevy Chase
โNothing’s funny about someone who’s successful.โ – Drew Carey
10 Sarcastic Funny Quotes
โCleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.โ – P. J. O’Rourke
โLife would be tragic if it weren’t funny.โ – Stephen Hawking
โI bought some batteries, but they weren’t included.โ – Steven Wright
โBooks are funny little portable pieces of thought.โ – Susan Sontag
โMost of my ideas just come out funny.โ – Tim Heidecker
โLaughter is involuntary. If it’s funny you laugh.โ – Tom Lehrer
โIt is funny what a year can do.โ – Victor Cruz
โYou need to be silly to be funny.โ – William Shatner
โInappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.โ – Zach Galifianakis
โI always approach comedy roles pretending they aren’t funny.โ – Brendan Fraser
10 Funny Quotes and Sayings
โHow many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.โ – Emo Philips
โAll people are born alike – except Republicans and Democrats.โ – Groucho Marx
โIf at first you don’t succeed… so much for skydiving.โ – Henny Youngman
โI would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.โ – Howard Nemerov
โProgress was all right. Only it went on too long.โ – James Thurber
โFunny, I don’t feel any more powerful today than yesterday.โ – Jerry B. Jenkins
โBehind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.โ – Jim Carrey
โFlattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.โ – Josh Billings
โI never thought of myself as like, a funny person.โ – Lena Dunham
โThere’s no such thing as soy milk. It’s soy juice.โ – Lewis Black
10 Funny Motivational Quotes
โAs I get older, I just prefer to knit.โ – Tracey Ullman
โI think being funny is not anyone’s first choice.โ – Woody Allen
โI never said most of the things I said.โ – Yogi Berra
โFatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.โ – Bill Cosby
โAll right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.โ – Casey Stengel
โParrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.โ – Chevy Chase
โI would like to do something modern and possibly funny.โ – Dan Stevens
โWhat other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.โ – David Sedaris
โSome people say funny things, but I say things funny.โ – Don Rickles
โI grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.โ – Eddie Izzard
20 Funny Birthday Quotes
โLet them eat cake.โ – Marie Antoinette
โBeing seventy is not a sin.โ – Golda Meir
โI’m most comfortable in my birthday suit.โ – Amanda Seyfried
โLove the giver more than the gift.โ – Brigham Young
โNew Year’s Day is every man’s birthday.โ – Charles Lamb
โI left school on my 15th birthday.โ – David Bailey
โI love having my birthday at Australia Zoo.โ – Bindi Irwin
โJust hit my 75th birthday, I’m feeling great!โ – Colin Powell
โThe only thing better than singing is more singing.โ – Ella Fitzgerald
โYour children need your presence more than your presents.โ – Jesse Jackson
โThere is still no cure for the common birthday.โ – John Glenn
โOn my birthday, I was in Milan for the collections.โ – Eva Herzigova
โOur birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.โ – Jean Paul
โWould ye both eat your cake and have your cake?โ – John Heywood
โWe’ll take the cake with the red cherry on top.โ – Navjot Singh Sidhu
โLet us celebrate the occasion with wine and sweet words.โ – Plautus
โThe day before my 16th birthday I got my guitar.โ – Stevie Nicks
โA gift, with a kind countenance, is a double present.โ – Thomas Fuller
โWhen I turned 60, it didn’t bother me at all.โ – Yoko Ono
funny inspirational quotes
โI was fired by ‘America’s Next Top Model’ on my birthday.โ – Paulina Porizkova
20 Funny Coffee Quotes
โCigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend!โ – Gerard Way
โCoffee and smoking are the last great addictions.โ – Lara Flynn Boyle
โGood communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard.โ – Anne Spencer
โI like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.โ – Eddie Izzard
โEating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.โ – Dave Barry
โI put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.โ – Steven Wright
โScience may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.โ – Earl Wilson
โWhen traveling with someone, take large does of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee.โ – Helen Hayes
โGood communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.โ – Anne Morrow Lindbergh
โThe sound of the blades on the ice in the morning is like smelling fresh coffee.โ – Tara Lipinski
โI don’t have any superstitions, but what I always travel with is my pillow and my coffee.โ – Natalie Coughlin
โLike everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.โ – Bill Cosby
โKids are meeting in coffee shops and basements figuring out what’s unsustainable in their communities. That’s the future.โ – Ian Somerhalder
โMaxi dresses are also my best friend. They take me from my morning coffee, to the beach, to nighttime.โ – Hilary Rhoda
โTelevision is not real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.โ – Bill Gates
โIn New York I pretty much live in diners – I order French Fries, Diet Coke floats and lots of coffee.โ – Lana Del Rey
โFor four to six months at a time, I would barely eat. I lived on a diet of Melba toast, carrots, and black coffee.โ – Alanis Morissette
โI like to do weird things in the shower, like drink my coffee, brush my teeth and drink a smoothie. It’s good time management.โ – Michelle Williams
โTownes van Zandt is the best songwriter in the whole world and I’ll stand on Bob Dylan’s coffee table in my cowboy boots and say that.โ – Steve Earle
โProbably millions of Americans got up this morning with a cup of coffee, a cigarette and a donut. No wonder they are sick and fouled up.โ – Jack LaLanne
10 Funny Quotes About Life
โI’d like to do a film which is funny.โ – Clive Owen
โWhen the sun comes up, I have morals again.โ – Elayne Boosler
โI spent a year in that town, one Sunday.โ – George Burns
โI’m so unprofessional on set it’s not even funny.โ – Katharine McPhee
โIf two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.โ – Laurence J. Peter
โI used to be Snow White, but I drifted.โ – Mae West
โIf at first you don’t succeed, blame your parents.โ – Marcelene Cox
โI wish I had the nerve not to tip.โ – Paul Lynde
โComedy is simply a funny way of being serious.โ – Peter Ustinov
โHousework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?โ – Phyllis Diller
โMy job is mostly to entertain and be funny.โ – Rosie O’Donnell
โI like all Jim Carrey films. They’re really funny.โ – Rupert Grint
โJapanese people have a funny habit of abbreviating names.โ – Shigeru Miyamoto
โA day without sunshine is like, you know, night.โ – Steve Martin
โI intend to live forever. So far, so good.โ – Steven Wright
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